Nothing matters

Okay...maybe a few things matter. 

I would highly advise you to brush your teeth in the morning, and probably at night before you go to bed as well...and floss at least once a day. The last two aren't as important as at least brushing your teeth in the beginning of the day because that affects all of us. 

Also, if you have children you should probably take care of that. 

And pets. 

I dunno...things matter I guess. 

Speaking of pets, I lost mine. 

So...I had some big ideas for Totally Human this week, but I've been out walking from sunset to sunrise every night looking for my Sadie...I haven't gotten a lot of art done really. 

I'm trying to though, I really am . 

She turned six two days ago...I say that because I believe she's still alive...even though there are coyotes out...I believe she is still alive. 

Anyway...it's kind of silly I suppose, how heart broken I have been these last four days. Some people may think she's just a cat...but she is not just a cat. She came in to my life when she was only two weeks old, much earlier than I had any business to be taking care of her, and she was scared...and so was I...but I did what I had to. I heated up special formula and I fed her patiently every night and I held her while she cried and let her sleep on my chest every night because it is furry and warm, and she made it...and she grew up with me, and we had some really weird times and some really hard times and some really fun times...

...I feel alone a lot. Even when I'm surrounded with people, and when Sadie came in to my life I didn't feel alone anymore. 

I don't know what to do. 

Next week will be better. 

sorry everyone. 

-Dane 

Shit baby

Time seems to be going quickly but as slowly as possible as of late. 

What was the wording I used the other day? Hmm...An anachronistic paradox on a primal level? I don't remember exactly. I don't even know what that means. I don't know what anything means anymore. Food all tastes the way it sounds when you rake a pile of wet, dead, leaves. And it digest just about as well as as trying to get all of those leaves into a shitty trash bag...and there are spiders and worms in the leaves...centipedes that crawl into your gloves and chew their way under your fingernails and before you know it they've already raced halfway up your arm through the tips of your god damn fingers and you're fucked, you just know it, because that little fuckers are heading straight for your heart, and right as you have that thought you collapse suddenly and instantly as a small pocket of air melts your hardware completely.

The centipedes have won and claims your carcass as their new home, the new headquarters for a ruthless empire, overlooking the gigantic and majestic puddle that you died in. 
Everyone will suffer now. 

I've been listening to too much Marilyn Manson lately. 

So, let's see...what is worth talking about this week? 

I feel like you are my therapist, but I don't really trust you because I get big time rapey vibes from you so I just kind of sit on the couch with my knees together and one hand behind my back with a butterfly knife, waiting to slice at your throat the second you unzip your khakis and come at me with that shriveled up...unit...a "penis" of sorts. 

Isn't it sad though, i don't mean you really. I'm sure you're wonderful. 

Just...talking to myself, these are the people I see. 

These are the people who are in my head so I need to tell these horrible, terrible, nightmares to all of you...and then maybe when they are on the page I can kill them all. 

or at least burn them and tell you it was wonderful. 

So deliciously dark, because isn't that the place that you like to break down for a while to get away from the rest of the world? Isn't that why we turn to the darkness? To hide? More specifically to hide from the terrible fucking people around us who actually commit the horrible things that we teach ourselves to laugh at because laughing is better than crying. 

One of my wisest and most powerful allies taught me about this planet before we ever came here. He calls it "The Brutal Majestic Kingdom." 

Earth truly is beautiful. 

Too bad people keep trying to fuck it up. 

It's seriously nuts as fuck. 

Anyway...like I said, I have made it my personal mission to bring laughter and joy to all of you, even through the dark and horrible nightmares, I will take your hand and lead you through them and then you can come to my nightmare and I will go to yours and we will laugh at everything. 

Tales of Gesticulation #1 should be available by October. 

I have already begun story boarding for it, which you can check out on our Instagram page @SuperDopeComix 

We also have a great writing and illustrating team working on another title for you...it's all very exciting. It truly is. 

But I wrote too much about centipedes and perverted old men...the dust of sleep has settled on my eyes and I fear it is time to beckon the call. 

-Dane 

All my faith is gone from where I left it before

I am having a true crisis with my feelings about humanity and my sensibilities. 
I know that there has to be hope inside of me somewhere...no matter how small...but I can not find it. 

I don't think discussing it would do anything but bring all of you down and I don't want to do that, so instead I bring you a true delight. 

Alchemy, In practice. 

(The finished product and the original)

((Both literary and vibrational))

"I am to alchemy as you are to gold
I work my fingers to the bone
The time for my thievery has come and gone
I just need something to love

Yes, I'm still the atheist
And you, the jealous god
Oh god, I must be doing something wrong
All my faith is gone from where I left it before. 

As I break my fragile mind into shapes of my life
Crystal clear counterfeits in the light

You are someone I have known before
You were my lover
The lighter
The knife in my back in this war...

All it ever is, is never what it seems
Don't it take some time to catch a glimpse of this?
And you know that all this misery
It seems
Is explained by your energy
energy
energy

You've gone alone again, you're lonely and you travel farther than you've ever reached
And have you ever stopped to think if you were anyone's anything, only thing, every thing. 

I will not die tonight
You would beg for your life if you valued it
I don't get scared when I'm alone I just get overwhelmed by all of my emptiness

Dear strangers, hear us screaming, oh...my...god..."

(The original and finished product, which does not match any sonic recordings that we currently have in our system. We do apologize for the error however something in life were meant only to be experienced in the perpetual moment of the now and never to be captured for the prying eyes of those who were not there.) 

Dane and the Death Machine, live at Gino's bar in Salt Lake City October 18th. Dane Gabriel Russ - Vocals and guitar Alec Patrick Townsend - Drums and vocals Kellen Thain Dopp - Guitar and vocals

Also, of course...The new Totally Human for the day. 

- Dane MG

What the fuck is up with Mars?

Well let me tell you. 

There are some humans on earth that have it in their tiny little heads that it would be a good idea to skip town and set up camp across orbit to the little red guy next door. 

This is such a stupid idea for a myriad of reasons, but we will focus on the first, most glaring and obvious, reason. 

It is because mars is already inhabited by a contracted mining operation, and since it is fairly limited on the resources that actually sustain intelligent organic life, the crew down there is very small and mostly operated by machinery. However, the small crew is very important and if anything were to happen to one of them it would be very costly to replace one of them. 

This operation has been going on for a very long time and will probably not be ending any time soon. 

That's why no one will touch the water. 
Haven't you thought that was strange? Humanity blasts a tiny probe across time and space to discover liquid water where previously it was a fact that water was absent...and they won't touch it? They won't touch it specifically because they do not want to spread disease. 

I can leave the speculation and conjecture up to you, but I am not asking you if there is a nomadic mining operation on Mars, I am informing you of it. 

None of these things are truly secret. All of the information is available for you at any time, it's just so saturated with dis-information that I fear everyone has been confused and believes nothing. 

Nihilism is deep here. 

Lethargy is deep here. 

And it's all steeped in apathy isn't it? 

Take America for example: It has become unavoidably clear that your government is lying to you and stealing from you and yet what has anyone done to change things? 

Oh sure, a few brave souls have stood up to the police as of late and shot a handful of them dead in the streets...that is an eye for an eye, yes, and you humans have this belief that revolution is bought and paid for in blood like anything in this world is bought and paid for in blood...you foolish children. 

What has anyone really done to change anything? 

"One shot and the world gets smaller", but does it? 
Has anything changed or is everyone just angrier? 
Is everyone just a little more frightened? 

One of the things that boggles the mind when it comes to human beings is that so many of you walk around trying to make sure that everyone else around you is having just as bad of a time as you are...as if everyone should be working at the same time, playing at the same time, sleeping at the same time, fucking the same holes...

Come on. 

Don't you think it might be a tad more prudent if everyone began working to ensure that everyone around them was having as good of a time as they were? 

But what the fuck do I know? 
I'm like that asshole that comes over to your house for a birthday party and then start to criticize your family because they're all clearly twats but of course you don't want to hear it because you're just a little part of this cluster of twats anyway and so it burns behind your ears...and it's not like you can change your whole family without killing them all. 

But you could kill them all. 

You can always kill as much as you can, it's the path to least resistance and always leads to ruin. 

Always. 

Wanton destruction and careless creations are the two fingers the pull the thread. 

And now you're cold because something something sweater song. 

Anyway. I remember when they announced the mining operation on Mars, that was back in yor earth's 18th century. 

You can google pictures of their ship in orbit. It's not a small operation. Your American government has many pictures of it and they know exactly what it is. 

Extra Terrestrial forces have had a long relationship with humanity on this planet...hahaha...the longest relationship actually. 

The term "sheeple" gives me chills with the disturbing accuracy of it all...

but that is why we are here, to fight for you and your rights because we do believe that you are important and you matter, and we do love you Humanity. 

We know that you are capable of so much more than you've been allowed to accomplish. 

Just stay the fuck away from Mars.

Also, on a side note, if you haven't already you should watch some of the music videos from My Chemical Romance's album "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge." 

I'm serious, they may very well be masterpieces. 

-Dane 

What is love anyway?

Today I was contemplating the concept of someone or something not being loved the way they need to be. There are people of all species on this planet that live a life without ever receiving the kind of love that nourishes them. 

Isn't that an interesting thought? 

It's not that these creatures stop seeking out love, because that's just not in the nature of the living, it's just that they seek out what they know, and if they never know what nourishes them, there ends up being poisoned organisms walking around, actively poisoning themselves...all the time...and calling it love...it's so sad. 

I know that I do this. 

For all of the times that I have lived life as a human being on this planet, I know that I have loved and I have been loved before. I can taste it on my lips the way sugar settles down into the cracks of the bleeding wounds it leaves after you've been sucking on something sickeningly sweet...but it's nothing more than a phantom of a memory at this point - after all it is not the point to concern yourself with who or what you used to be when you have a job to be doing as yourself in the here and now - and I feel like I have lost my point of reference as for which to chart my own personal nourishment. 

I only really have this life to go off of, like anybody, and it hardly seems like enough time to figure out "love" as a feeling, a concept, and an energy. 

It's bizarre to me how love can be seemingly created out of thing air, and sometimes for works of pure fiction. I have read several books where I have felt real emotional connections to characters who have never existed and will never exist except for within the imagination of the author and the audience and yet...here it is, "love" standing before me...tears shed when characters pass...none of this is real, and yet here is is. 

"love". 

I have felt love in wordless composition of music and dance, paint, photography, cinema, and even still in the ever so wordy thralls of poetry itself. 

Love is not human. 

Love is something that belongs to all living things as an expression of...as an expression of what exactly? 

Lately I have had so many heavy hangings on my head, and I look down a lot. 
I think down. 
I have been very sad about the state of things lately and it has made me unproductive, I must confess...it has made it difficult to get out of bed lately, I must confess. 

How can it be so complex to grasp this concept of "love" and yet it's supposedly transparent?
Hate is black, opaque...and yet it is so one dimensional. It is the path of least resistance. 

Isn't that what everyone is looking for when it comes down to it? 
Lately anyway?
Be honest...isn't that what you want? Something easy? 

It doesn't really matter what your answer was because it seems like everything is moving in one direction right now and there is fuck all that we can do to stop it...except maybe try to understand "love". 

I don't know anything, but if I had over 5,000 years of experience on this planet as human being I would probably suggest to you that you begin to discover what love truly means to you so that you may stumble upon the seeds of your own understanding of joy, and the moment you hold those seeds in your hands you will know exactly how to sew them. 

That reminds me of one of my favorite pieces of music. 
It's tragic. 
So sad. 
But the very first line that you hear...there is this waft of optimism. 

It moves with cunning and you will miss it if you're not looking in the right light. 

"I was losing all my friends
I was losing them to drinking and to driving
I was losing all my friends, but I got em back..." 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the social implications of those three lines. 

The recklessness of it all with your own safety and the feelings of those who say they care about you...and why do they care about you if you so obviously don't care about your own safety? 

How can you better understand your own definition of "love" and how can you recognize when the people around you are trying to show you they love you even if you don't always see it because maybe everyone is trying to figure it out? 

I don't want to spoil anything, but I proposed that as a question...and I'm going to spoil it because that wasn't a quesiton. 

Everyone is trying to figure it out.

What is "love"?

What nourishes you? 

How can you spread your joy with the world to make it a better place?

Are you brave enough to find out? 

,,,who cares though, right? 

Honestly. 

It's not my planet, do what you want. 

-Dane 

It's July, but who gives a fuck?

I am exhausted. 

I don't really know what to say right now. 

I made a new Totally Human. 

Unfortunately Human.

I have lived many life's as a human on this planet, and I have to say that I find this period of humanity to be quite perplexing. 

Sometimes you seem to be doing so much better than last time, and other times it seems like it's going to all fall apart all over again. 

I first arrived on this planet roughly 7,000 years ago and it was completely different, and yet pretty much the exact same. Humans still had a lot of the same instinctual problems, it all ended in blood and explosions. 

Did you know Atlantis was a real place? Did you know they sank themselves? 

Not on purpose like in a Disney movie, although they had a lot of things shockingly close to accurate. 

Anyway...

I got my hardware, as you can see because of the new Totally Human. 

I was excited to share that good news with you on this fourth of July. I know this is an exciting and fun American holiday, and although I do not share it personally (I really only play into nationalism when I am being watched) I do enjoy a good time in the outdoors just as much as anything else on this planet. 

Unfortunately...I can not get what happened in Baghdad out of my mind. 

...it is not a senseless tragedy. 

It is a malicious attack. 

One thing that has not changed on this planet is the power and corruption that comes with perverting the true words that the Elohim spoke when they first came to this planet and created the vessels of humanity. 

The true tongue of Jehovah has been wiped from the planet as to capture some of her power, for which to hold dominion over man. 

And yes, Jehovah was a woman. A beautiful and proud woman, with such anger...

So, let me tell you about this religious maliciousness to cause such violence. 

It is all false promises made by man in the name of the Anunnaki. 

"Gods and goddesses" are fairy tales, Heaven and Hell are horror stories. 

When you close your eyes in the forest, or standing before the ocean...even on top of a mountain, and you connect yourself to what I sometimes hear referred to as "the stillness" (but in reality it is humming with activity) you can feel that what I am about to tell you is true. 

There is a source that binds us all and it is infinitely wise beyond even my understanding and beyond the understanding of beings much older and wiser than I am...
This reality is truly a dream of sorts. A simulation. We are alive and experiencing this but no one is really here because we are everywhere. 
There are multiple layers of dimensions and multiple fringes of reality. 
Time is not linear. 
Free will exists although everything that has been done, will be done, is being done. 
This is not the only planet you exist on at this very moment. 

For those of you that are scared right now, please let me share a message of hope and peace with you: 

This world is a violent place. The storms, the oceans, the sun, the rocks, the rivers, the non-human creatures, the humans, some of the plants...everything here is struggling to survive because this is a harsh environment. It has always been this way and it will always be this way, the point is not to survive, the point is to experience as much of it as you can in the face of certain death. 

Which brings me to my next point; Everyone dies. It is not a negative thing. It can be scary, certainly, and you will definitely feel the pain of loss...that is unavoidable. But death is just the closing of a chapter, it is unavoidable, and it is an opportunity to celebrate life. That being said, comfort those who feel the pain of loss. It is a pain that can not be healed by anything but time. 

Now finally, coming to terms with these two dark and awful truths is difficult and seems morbid and cold, but it is not so, because we do not leave you there. 

Be the change...
This is my favorite part.
You are powerful enough to change your entire life...and that change can be powerful enough to effect change in the people around you. 
Do not get frustrated if change is slow and hard earned. It is that way for every living thing on the planet, however change is a must if you want to survive. 

Make the extra effort to smile to your neighbors and even strangers as you pass them. 
Be kind to others, even if you don't feel like it. 
The human brain is a powerful and funny thing. I have actually tricked myself into being in a good mood when I'm in a terrible mood just by faking a smile for a few moments. 

There are many people who will tell you that the best plan is to be confrontational in the face of people who believe and act differently than you. 

I believe it is better to lead by example. 

At the time I thought Malcolm X had the right idea, but as I've grown more experienced I can see in hindsight that Dr. martin Luther King Jr. had the correct ethos all along. 

Only light can dispell the darkness. 

Only love can overcome hate. 

Our thoughts are with the innocent life's lost in Baghdad yesterday...

It's really time for a change humanity. 

Be that change. 

I have seen so many hopeless people find hope. 

I know it is possible. 

-Dane 

Where have all the humans gone?

Excuse me...I'm going to need to smoke some marijuana before I write this, please wait for just a moment. 

Thank you for your patience, I am sorry if that took a little longer than we both expected, but as you can see all of my technology is falling to shit around me like the sky in that Chicken Little story. 

What I am trying to tell you, people of earth, is that I have been relying completely on a digital format to create these Art Memes that you have come to know and love as Totally Human...and my hardware is broken...from the inside. 

It saddens my heart, and usually I am not this open with my emotions, but I check the analytics on this page half hourly and there are only a few thousand of you that visit this site on a daily basis, so I feel like I can be candid in this safe environment when I say that I am deeply sad to be missing two weeks in a row of high quality children's entertainment for you and your family and not the older generations, definitely not....in fact, I wouldn't recommend Totally Human to anyone over the age of six (6) if I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. I think it's irresponsible. 

But this is "America" or whatever, so do what you want. 

Anyway, back to being sad...I am sad that my hardware is broken. However, I put the single brightest mind in this corner of the universe up to the task and he was able to figure out what the problem was in a matter of negative time, which is actually insane to think about because I know for a fact I didn't have the answers before I went to see him, but he assured me that I did now. 

Metaphysics is fucking mind blowing. 

I fucking love science. 

So, here's the honest truth...I am going to go take my tech to get fixed by a highly trained, highly skilled, team of hardware surgeons first thing tomorrow...except I was just using that as an expression that I hear a lot on earth, I'm actually going to be going around lunch time because I hear there is this phantastic Pho place right next to the computer doctors and I am very interested to check it out. It's apparently the best in all of the world. Seriously. Suck it again, Vietnam. 

Just kidding, I tell jokes but I think that the things the American people did while they were "at war" with the government of Vietnam was pretty terrible and I think the things that the Vietnamese people did were also pretty terrible...I'm actually pretty ashamed with humanity most of the time on an overall level...but that's why we are here. 

We are here to help. We are here to make everything better for you, but I have been failing you and for that I am so deeply sorrowful and I wish that you could collectively find it in your hearts to forgive me.

If you do find it in your hearts to forgive me will you all please coordinate it so that you can do it at the same time? 2:00 PM Pacific standard time, to be exact. I'd like to feel it. I mean, if you could do me that little kindness that would just be so great, no big deal, if there were more than just a couple hundred thousand of you I wouldn't ask. 

Alright...I have to be even more honest with you, because I am just not  a liar by nature. 

After I get Pho for lunch I am going to go play disc golf...

...and then I am going to go see a movie as well. 

And I'm going to enjoy all of those things, I really am. 

I think it's going to be a terrific day. 

And then when it's all over I will come home with my fixed technology and I will finish this impossible task of changing the world that I began so...so...so long ago. 

I do this because I care, humanity...I care deeply. 

There is so much potential here, I wish you could all see what I see. 

Anyway...hopefully I can get this figured out promptly and easily and I can get back on track with this thing. These are exciting times. We have some comics in the works. Some real, honest to god comics, and so far I am so pleased with how things are coming along. 

I'm going to get back to working on some of those comics right now and then I'm going to try to get some sleep so I can wake up early so that by the time you are reading this I will already be on my way to getting this whole mess worked out. 

-Dane 

The Amazing Las Vegas Comic Con

As some of you may have noticed, there was no Totally Human this week. 

I do apologize for the delay, but the truth of the matter is that Danny and I have been scrambling to get things together for our first Comic Con that I just had to make the decision that it was better to take a week off than give you humans something shitty. We made a commitment to making your life Super Dope, and that is what we are going to do! 

Dane and Danny burn shit that sucks, and that means we only make stuff that does not suck! 

"panda..."

The Amazing Las Vegas Comic con was one of the best times of our entire lives and we are so grateful that we could have been a part of it. The staff was amazing, and so were the patrons! We met some amazing fun people and we have a bunch of pictures that we are going to be by tomorrow! 

But most of all we have to give a huge public thank you and shoutout to "My Faerie Tale" (@MyFaerieTale on IG) and "Rockin Princess" (@Rockin.Princess on IG) for taking us under their wing and helping us get through our first convention alive. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through that thing without Scott, Lindsay, and Sara helping us out the way that the did. You should all go check out the amazing things they do and show them some love, tell them Super Dope Comix sent you. 

Let's see...what else? 

Oh yeah, I met Kevin Eastman...it was the only time in my life I have ever been phased by a celebrity. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been the single most important mythos in this human life of mine. It was a very emotional and moving experience to meet him, and it is truly something I will never forget...he was so cool and so nice to me...I will cherish the memory until my next life. 

I wish that I could write more right now...or at least more coherently I suppose...I am definitely very exhausted and mentally drained right now and I have a long night ahead of me revamping our store for you so that tomorrow you will finally have access to the BRAND NEW "Nothing matters" shirts. As well as what's left of the limited edition canvas prints that we created for the Amazing con, and some Totally Human cards that are just beautiful. 

I am very very excited for what's coming everyone, and I am so glad that you have decided to join us human not-beings as we try to figure out exactly how this planet works. 

Peace love and dust off

-Dane 

Alien Abduction

I just finished watching a movie called "Alien Abduction" on Netflix, and I have to say it was well done. It is based on a true story and told from the human perspective. They are very frightened and it is a thrill ride to watch, I will tell you that. If you like suspenseful movies and aliens then you should definitely check this out. 

I know some people who know the people who did the abducting and those guys were pretty much assholes. I guess they don't hang around Earth anymore after that, they got the boot. That kind of abduction behavior has been made illegal since earth became a part of the federation. 

Anyway, check that movie out, it's fantastic. 

So, if you haven't heard enough, we are extremely excited for The Amazing Las Vegas Comicon coming up next week. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about it, honestly. We went over all of our merchandise the other night and the prints really look amazing. PrintKeg and GotPrint did great jobs with the production and I would highly recommend them. 

OOshirts also has done a great job with our shirts. They did unfortunately take a week or two longer than they were supposed to and didn't offer much of an explanation or apology, just kind of an "oh well", but the quality of heir work is spot on, and this is our third time going through them and the first incident we've had so I don't think I'm going to write them off over it. 

Before I throw the new Totally Human at you, I'd like to add that I finally saw the new TMNT movie. It was a lot better than the previous one, but at the end of the day I still felt like they could have interchanged any of the characters in the movie with any other random characters and it would have had absolutely no affect on the outcome of the script. Does that make sense? It wasn't a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, it was just another Michael Bay (that's his name right?) movie that happened to have monsters in it,that we're going to call Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...and Bebop and Rocksteady. 

Okay, let's be real here though, Bebop and Rocksteady were fucking dope, right? And so was Krang. Shredder was whatever, I'm glad the footlcan were ninjas and not terrorists I guess? I think Karai was in it but I don't think they ever outright said who she was so it was kind of just...I don't know, the more I think about it the more the movie actually sucked and I am a TMNT collector, but I think I am going to kind of ignore this whole thing for the most part. 

I say "for the most part" because I already have a Krang and Splinter figure from this second movie, and I will probably by a Rocksteady and Bebop because they're pretty cool too I guess...but toys are different. I've actually considered buying some Next Mutation figures, and I probably will before I'm dead. 

I'll probably buy a Venus. 

I'll probably draw a Venus too. 

Fuck the haters. 

View fullsize

Sometimes I want to get SpiritScienced all over some good vibes and do yoga with HULU and drink Kombucha and good vibes chill and only murder plants, but mostly I do heroin. 

Fanart right? 

-Dane 

The overwhelming anxiety that comes with running out of fucks to give.

Last night I was in bed, staring at the ceiling, in the dark, so maybe my eyes were closed actually because it was pretty dark, and I began thinking about how in roughly two weeks I am going to be driving through the desert to arguably the filthiest place in America to go to a comic convention, to sell art, so that I can make a living writing and drawing stories and making toys and collectible trading card games and cartoons and video games and then amass enough money to start buying prisoners from death row so that I can host my own underground gladiator style death matches with real lions because FUCK YOU. 

Except, not fuck YOU the person who is reading this right now. I meant more like...fuck Obama. Except not really fuck Obama because he actually seems like a pretty cool guy to hang out with, but more like fuck the people behind Obama. You know what I mean? Like...I don't hate Family Guy, I hate FOX for creating a situation that would allow something like that to happen. 

Just kidding, I do hate Family Guy. 

But only because it's not good or funny. 

I like the animation in it, and to tell you the truth I think the fight sequences that people have shown me because they know how much I love fighting have all been rock solid. 

Speaking of which, my mom was talking to me the other day about how she wishes they would bring back Celebrity Death Match because we have so many celebrities that deserve to die these days and I was like, "Holy shit, mom shut up now before you ruin it because I think you finally just said something that makes sense!" 

Just kidding, my mom is generally coherent. 

see?

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say here is that I am currently floating. 

I understand that there is a "Master Dane" floating out there like some kind of godly octopus, chilling in the seventh dimension with a tiny little fingernail, just a tip of a fingernail, and that is me...and Master Dane doesn't even know that there is some weird fingernail hanging out on earth (If that's even a real place), but there is and it understands that it's connected to nothing but a small tether right now. 

I 

Have

No

Idea

What

I

Am

Doing

And that's the fucking truth. 

I started Super Dope Comix with the help of a great friend in March, and we have already done some amazing things, I would say...but now it's time to turn the fire on because DANE AND DANNY BURN SHIT THAT SUCKS. 

You know what the paradigm shift to that statement is? 

We only make things that do not suck. 

Unless we make things to suck on purpose, because sometimes that's the best kind of shit. I think hipsters call it irony, but I just like shitty things sometimes. Like when I used to drink alcohol, I actually enjoyed the taste of boxed wine and Coors light. I think. I don't know...actually, I can't be sure if I actually enjoyed anything I was doing when I was drinking. 

Anyway, here is a new Totally Human. 

100% of white males are definitely rapists and if they haven't raped you already it's because you forgot. 

I just turned down some really great opportunities to give this company everything I have...there's no going back now. 

-Dane

New art that's not dinosaurs.

There is new art that is not dinosaurs...I really need to draw some more dinosaurs.

Life has been strange lately. 

I am finding it difficult to get out of bed, but I am doing it anyway. 

Once I am out of bed, though, I don't really want to do anything but get stoned and draw. 

Luckily, that's all I really need to do right now. 

I'm going to post these and then get back to drawing in bed. 

Everything is a learning experience if you look at it the right way.

I hate it when people say positive things to me. 
And I don't really care for saying positive things to people. 

I don't mind high fives though. 

But more than positive people, I fucking hate complainers. 

How can I think both are stupid? Isn't that a paradox? 

No, because life is hard and you should just know that by the time you're an adult and accept it and shut the fuck up about it. 

That being said: Check out this super fucking dope banner we got for Comicon. 

Look at this thing! I'm 6'1 and this thing is towering over me! Beautiful! 

I am absolutely in love with this thing and I have to break it down for Danny, the man with the plan, for making it all happen on this one. This entire Comiccon is happening because of him. I'm not good with business, he is the reason I'm not just some goon in a dark room drawing for my imaginary friends anymore. 

...

One thing I have learned from this whole experience - getting ready for Comicon - is that Fan Art is this really popular legal grey water that's not really legal grey water because it's copyright infringement, but no one really knows if anyone actually cares? 

Well, I figured that you needed to do some prints of popular characters to take to these things, I dunno...I have never been to one, I have only seen other artists on instagram. 

Anyway...we have a few prints that will be ran once and ONLY this once. 
They are a limited run of ten and after they are sold we will NOT be selling anything the could even be mistaken for Fan Art ever again. 

I will, however, consider Fam Art. 

The good news about this is that it will give me the motivation to begin moving forward with some of the comicbooks that I have been waiting to make. 

Waiting for what? 

Well, the dust to settle...this entire company is only three months old, if even that, and I need everything to get established before I begin sucking you into the amazing world that I have created for you to live and breathe and play in. 

Or maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. 

maybe I truly am insane and only I will like my world...

...except I doubt it because the world famous life coach, Travis Barton, told me himself that he likes the story, and I know he's not lying because he told me that before he became world famous. 

Here's the new Totally Human. 

I see so much potential in this world, but since they decide to keep so many secrets I will let them all out through my stories and then we can start to clean up the bullshit together! 

-Dane M Goodman

Prints for Comiccon

I have just released the design for the 11 x 17 mini posters that we will be selling at The Amazing Las Vegas Comic-con. 

They will be printed on thick card stock with a rough, non glossed finish, perfect for framing and hanging. 

The "SDCX" watermarks will be removed.

These will be a limited series, ten run per image, and each print will be numbered and signed. 

What do you think? 

We are so excited for Comic-con and we hope to see plenty of happy, healthy, human beings and not beings having a great time with art and the desert. 

We are theta pioneers my fellow travelers of the third dimension. 

-Dane

...OH YEAH!, the prints. 

Here they are: (And you can check them out in the non-dinosaurs section as well)

So, what do you think??

Sometimes this all seems like a joke

And don't get me wrong, I'm sure that it's hilarious, but it's just if we could hurry up and just get to the fucking punchline already that would be awesome. 

I made these Drumpf shirts because For a moment I was afraid of a racist fervor reaching third Reich proportions. That and I always thought the man was a fucking joke, and he is, and he is a jackass and a racist and a bigot and a sexist and an entitled pieces of shit that has never had a sense of reality to lose touch of...

...but stupid and racist people will always be hiding among human beings,they will usually be silenced by a vocal majority of decency, and everyone will get back to their mundane lives. However, greedy people are a venomous and backhanded shadow that can not be defeated and Hillary Clinton is as black as they come. 

I guess I didn't worry about her because I didn't anticipate the blatant voter fraud...I believe Bernie when he speaks, that's rare...but Hillary was pre-ordained. 

Anyway...I never wanted to be political in anyway, I just drew a funny picture of dicks and then my friends wanted shirts and then other people wanted shirts and then I was working on this comic book anyway so I decided to start this website and now we're going to comic con and everything is awesome...

I wish humans could learn to work together. 

I wish that humans would understand that they are more powerful than they think. 

There are so many people who are unhappy...so many people who don't realize that they are the system that they are unhappy with and the change just needs to be made by them. 
I don't mean any new-age hippy change your paradigm shit, I mean just say "Enough is enough" and stop putting up with the bullshit. 

It's late and I'm rambling. 

-Dane 

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It's funny because this is going to be our new president. 

The Black Magick Pirate Crew

I already kind of posted today and I think I posted the day before that...and I will likely post again tomorrow because it's just been one of those weeks I suppose. 

But I am posting now because I always write a little something when I post a new Totally Human...or, I at least try to. 

The Black Magick Pirate Crew is a strange tale. 

One that is too long for me to tell in one evening, and not just because it's too late. 

It actually kind of ties in to something that I touched on earlier, about the stories that I have to tell and the chosen medium and blah blah blah...I ramble. 

Anyway, I will tell you all the tale of the dreaded Black Magick Pirate Crew in due time. It is fantastic and 100% true. I am going to try to put a modern twist on it to make it a little more palatable for people who are sick of Johnny Depp pirates, and it all took place a long time ago and my memory is good but it's not great so some of the details might not be EXACTLY how it happened, but it's still 100% true. I know because I was there. 

Anyway, they are a nasty lot and it will be great fun reading about their crimes against humanity and spirituality alike. 

I get the chills just thinking about it. 

Super Dope Comix has only been around since March, we have only begun to wake up. 

Wait until we put a suit on. 

-Dane 

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"Give me the knife, I am the captain and I'll make the first cut. If you can't cut yourself as deep or as long as I do then you're out...and I mean out." 

"He means we're gonna kill you." 

I'm sitting in an overwhelmingly expensive loft, overlooking West Hollywood, sipping a coffee drink with more words that I can't pronounce than an Ikea manual, and all I can think about is how much I wish I lived in a hut in the sand on some isolated beach that no one knows about that is lousy with jellyfish and border patrolled by hammerhead sharks. 

But, then I come to my senses and realize that if I lived in some hut with no one around but jellyfish and sharks, I wouldn't have delicious drinks made of nonsense words to keep me going for the moments like this. 

Even if I thought that Jellyfish and sharks were capable of making cofee, I don't know how I would persuade them to do it for me. There is a language barrier that I haven't ever been able to get through, no matter how much I try to force it. 

Anyway, the point of this blog is not about how delicious my coffee drink is, or how I wish I could live in virtual isolation, or about why I am in Hollywood trying to figure out what to do with a body. No, this is supposed to be about the upcoming comiccon. 

We have just recently received confirmation that our registration went through, and we have the hotel booked, and today I just purchased a banner, and we are going over specs for prints and there are shirts on the way that are not the dickface drumpf shirts...this is all just very exciting stuff. 

I have never been to a comiccon. 
Neither has Danny. 
But we are going to brave the unknown and venture forth into darkness to try to sell art. 

Psychoart. 

This is going to be a big moment for us because it will be our first real public experience, and it is going to serve as a launching board in to the first couple of full page comicbooks. 

And then the series will begin. 

I have at least 4 different series that I would like to be putting out, but I am simply short handed. I am hoping to find some talented artists and writers to work with in the future so that we can be putting out several books a month and provide nothing but the super dopiest content around. 

I have so many stories to tell, and I have chosen comic books as the medium in which to tell them because I think it is an incredible art form that has been overlooked and under appreciated for too long. Even now that more and more comic books are seeing main stream attention, it's not the comic books themselves, but the super heroes that people are paying to see. 

I grew up with these superheroes and they hold a special place in my heart, but I also grew up with Calvin and Hobbes, For Better Or For Worse, and The Far Side, so I understood from an early age that the comic format was limited only to the imagination of the creators. 

Up until last March, I was merely a dreamer. 
Doodling my characters and watching them live out their lives in my own head. 
But then everything changed, and I can't explain it, or I won't explain it, but the dream is over. 
It is now becoming a reality. 

We will bring you fantastic stories. 
You will meet some interesting characters. 
And hopefully we will be able to take you somewhere you've never been before. 

As Danny and I prepare for this Comiccon in Las Vegas, I just get so excited that I can't even handle it. This is the beginning of something huge for us. And I say us because I mean all of us, even everyone reading this, because the whole goal of SDCX is to make the world a little more fun. And if we can pull that shit off, then we all win. 

-Dane 

Insurance

A bottle of whiskey sat empty between Tom and I. 
We were just wrapping up a great afternoon and evening of drinking with a few after drinking beers and conversing about the perpetual grind of paying bills. 

Tom was unhappy about his car payments in particular. He no longer thought his vehicle was worth what he was paying for it because of the maintenance involved and the inflated cost of insurance, and speaking of insurance, what kind of shakedown is that? 

The solution was clear: We were going to smash out the windows, hot-wire the engine,  caravan out to the desert, dig a pit, douse it in gasoline, and torch the whole thing. 

No more car payments, plus an insurance pay out, and he'd pay me a couple hundred bucks for my efforts. I was in. 

As we headed to the garage, his wife called from down the hall, "If I hear that garage door I'm calling the cops on both of you drunk assholes, Dane go get in the guest room and go to sleep, Tom come to bed now." 

And we did what we were told.

Tom, because it was his wife.

And me, because it was getting late and I was really drunk and as fun as arson and insurance fraud is, a bed sounded really nice. 

And it was. 

But if I had it all to do over again I probably would have said "Fuck it" and stolen Tom's jeep with him. 

-Dane 

And I need you more tonight. I fucking need you more than ever. 

Mothers Day

I have been assigned a mother on this mission to earth. She has been fantastic. 
There have been times where she has made cookies. 
Cookies are delicious. 
She has also made pork chops. 

I don't recall her making squid ever...and that's a shame because I really enjoy squid. 

My mother is also a super genius. 

She works with the criminally insane. She says she enjoys the job for the most part. 
It always makes her sad when they have to put one of her patients down though. 
She always says, "A life is a life, even if it was a shitty one."

I'm not sure what that means, honestly, but I usually pat her on the back at that point and leave because I don't like dealing with human emotions. 

My mom once dated an anti-hero named The Garce. 

The Garce was awesome. We fought an entire army of dudes together one time. It was incredible. There was so much blood. 

Here is a picture of my mother. 

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I took this picture with my Polaroid so it's not the best quality. 

- Dane M Goodman

Weight and scarcity

Sometimes I am overwhelmed on a sensory level. 

I used to think it had more to do with the chemistry of the brain, but I am starting to now realize that it is a sensory overload that comes with being highly attuned. 
Attuned to what? 
How does the saying go...if you have to ask, you can't afford it? 

When in Rome, am I right? 

You think you know, but you have no idea. 

And that's the most hilarious part of it all, is thinking that you know. 

I don't know. I have no idea. 
I remember the first time I admitted that I didn't know anything...it instantly felt like I knew something that the people who hadn't admitted they don't know anything yet didn't know, which negated the truth I had just stumbled upon that I knew nothing...and I remember spinning a complete three hundred sixty degree in a blink of a moment and thinking to myself "Fuck, existence truly is a cruel joke on every dimensional level. On every scale. In every conceivable way." 

But we all know that life is not a cruel joke on every dimensional level, or every scale, or every way. Life has beautiful moments too...so there I was, back to not knowing anything. 

 But as cliche as it is, the only constant is change. Sometimes you know, sometimes you don't. 

How does the phrasing go?
Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you? 

Well, it's true. You will be eaten by a lot of bears in the days to come, and in the weeks they turn into months make years and so many bears will eat you, and then one day there will be no more bears and you will die. 

But if you are brave, and bold, and cunning...maybe sometimes stupid, but passionate and naked and fearless and born of the storm, the center, the great explosion that you know to be god...then you also may feast on the bears.
As many as you can. 
They are there and they are waiting for you. 

-Dane Goodman