I have been assigned a mother on this mission to earth. She has been fantastic.
There have been times where she has made cookies.
Cookies are delicious.
She has also made pork chops.
I don't recall her making squid ever...and that's a shame because I really enjoy squid.
My mother is also a super genius.
She works with the criminally insane. She says she enjoys the job for the most part.
It always makes her sad when they have to put one of her patients down though.
She always says, "A life is a life, even if it was a shitty one."
I'm not sure what that means, honestly, but I usually pat her on the back at that point and leave because I don't like dealing with human emotions.
My mom once dated an anti-hero named The Garce.
The Garce was awesome. We fought an entire army of dudes together one time. It was incredible. There was so much blood.
Here is a picture of my mother.
I took this picture with my Polaroid so it's not the best quality.
- Dane M Goodman