Excuse me...I'm going to need to smoke some marijuana before I write this, please wait for just a moment.
Thank you for your patience, I am sorry if that took a little longer than we both expected, but as you can see all of my technology is falling to shit around me like the sky in that Chicken Little story.
What I am trying to tell you, people of earth, is that I have been relying completely on a digital format to create these Art Memes that you have come to know and love as Totally Human...and my hardware is broken...from the inside.
It saddens my heart, and usually I am not this open with my emotions, but I check the analytics on this page half hourly and there are only a few thousand of you that visit this site on a daily basis, so I feel like I can be candid in this safe environment when I say that I am deeply sad to be missing two weeks in a row of high quality children's entertainment for you and your family and not the older generations, definitely not....in fact, I wouldn't recommend Totally Human to anyone over the age of six (6) if I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. I think it's irresponsible.
But this is "America" or whatever, so do what you want.
Anyway, back to being sad...I am sad that my hardware is broken. However, I put the single brightest mind in this corner of the universe up to the task and he was able to figure out what the problem was in a matter of negative time, which is actually insane to think about because I know for a fact I didn't have the answers before I went to see him, but he assured me that I did now.
Metaphysics is fucking mind blowing.
I fucking love science.
So, here's the honest truth...I am going to go take my tech to get fixed by a highly trained, highly skilled, team of hardware surgeons first thing tomorrow...except I was just using that as an expression that I hear a lot on earth, I'm actually going to be going around lunch time because I hear there is this phantastic Pho place right next to the computer doctors and I am very interested to check it out. It's apparently the best in all of the world. Seriously. Suck it again, Vietnam.
Just kidding, I tell jokes but I think that the things the American people did while they were "at war" with the government of Vietnam was pretty terrible and I think the things that the Vietnamese people did were also pretty terrible...I'm actually pretty ashamed with humanity most of the time on an overall level...but that's why we are here.
We are here to help. We are here to make everything better for you, but I have been failing you and for that I am so deeply sorrowful and I wish that you could collectively find it in your hearts to forgive me.
If you do find it in your hearts to forgive me will you all please coordinate it so that you can do it at the same time? 2:00 PM Pacific standard time, to be exact. I'd like to feel it. I mean, if you could do me that little kindness that would just be so great, no big deal, if there were more than just a couple hundred thousand of you I wouldn't ask.
Alright...I have to be even more honest with you, because I am just not a liar by nature.
After I get Pho for lunch I am going to go play disc golf...
...and then I am going to go see a movie as well.
And I'm going to enjoy all of those things, I really am.
I think it's going to be a terrific day.
And then when it's all over I will come home with my fixed technology and I will finish this impossible task of changing the world that I began so...so...so long ago.
I do this because I care, humanity...I care deeply.
There is so much potential here, I wish you could all see what I see.
Anyway...hopefully I can get this figured out promptly and easily and I can get back on track with this thing. These are exciting times. We have some comics in the works. Some real, honest to god comics, and so far I am so pleased with how things are coming along.
I'm going to get back to working on some of those comics right now and then I'm going to try to get some sleep so I can wake up early so that by the time you are reading this I will already be on my way to getting this whole mess worked out.
-Dane