Today I was contemplating the concept of someone or something not being loved the way they need to be. There are people of all species on this planet that live a life without ever receiving the kind of love that nourishes them.
Isn't that an interesting thought?
It's not that these creatures stop seeking out love, because that's just not in the nature of the living, it's just that they seek out what they know, and if they never know what nourishes them, there ends up being poisoned organisms walking around, actively poisoning themselves...all the time...and calling it love...it's so sad.
I know that I do this.
For all of the times that I have lived life as a human being on this planet, I know that I have loved and I have been loved before. I can taste it on my lips the way sugar settles down into the cracks of the bleeding wounds it leaves after you've been sucking on something sickeningly sweet...but it's nothing more than a phantom of a memory at this point - after all it is not the point to concern yourself with who or what you used to be when you have a job to be doing as yourself in the here and now - and I feel like I have lost my point of reference as for which to chart my own personal nourishment.
I only really have this life to go off of, like anybody, and it hardly seems like enough time to figure out "love" as a feeling, a concept, and an energy.
It's bizarre to me how love can be seemingly created out of thing air, and sometimes for works of pure fiction. I have read several books where I have felt real emotional connections to characters who have never existed and will never exist except for within the imagination of the author and the audience and yet...here it is, "love" standing before me...tears shed when characters pass...none of this is real, and yet here is is.
"love".
I have felt love in wordless composition of music and dance, paint, photography, cinema, and even still in the ever so wordy thralls of poetry itself.
Love is not human.
Love is something that belongs to all living things as an expression of...as an expression of what exactly?
Lately I have had so many heavy hangings on my head, and I look down a lot.
I think down.
I have been very sad about the state of things lately and it has made me unproductive, I must confess...it has made it difficult to get out of bed lately, I must confess.
How can it be so complex to grasp this concept of "love" and yet it's supposedly transparent?
Hate is black, opaque...and yet it is so one dimensional. It is the path of least resistance.
Isn't that what everyone is looking for when it comes down to it?
Lately anyway?
Be honest...isn't that what you want? Something easy?
It doesn't really matter what your answer was because it seems like everything is moving in one direction right now and there is fuck all that we can do to stop it...except maybe try to understand "love".
I don't know anything, but if I had over 5,000 years of experience on this planet as human being I would probably suggest to you that you begin to discover what love truly means to you so that you may stumble upon the seeds of your own understanding of joy, and the moment you hold those seeds in your hands you will know exactly how to sew them.
That reminds me of one of my favorite pieces of music.
It's tragic.
So sad.
But the very first line that you hear...there is this waft of optimism.
It moves with cunning and you will miss it if you're not looking in the right light.
"I was losing all my friends
I was losing them to drinking and to driving
I was losing all my friends, but I got em back..."
I've spent a lot of time thinking about the social implications of those three lines.
The recklessness of it all with your own safety and the feelings of those who say they care about you...and why do they care about you if you so obviously don't care about your own safety?
How can you better understand your own definition of "love" and how can you recognize when the people around you are trying to show you they love you even if you don't always see it because maybe everyone is trying to figure it out?
I don't want to spoil anything, but I proposed that as a question...and I'm going to spoil it because that wasn't a quesiton.
Everyone is trying to figure it out.
What is "love"?
What nourishes you?
How can you spread your joy with the world to make it a better place?
Are you brave enough to find out?
,,,who cares though, right?
Honestly.
It's not my planet, do what you want.
-Dane