Easter is my favorite holiday because I don't have to buy anyone anything and I also don't celebrate it.
But I know that some of you humans do, and I love to see those big bright (impossibly white) smiles of yours. It makes those big white eyes of your light up.
“Fuck you Shaq”
Jesus is probably my favorite superhero. I think his death was much more impact-full than even Superman's death. And he came back to life in a much less confusing way than super man did. Could you imagine if there were multiple versions of Jesus that came back to life, and one version was a kid Jesus and one version was made of steel and had a huge hammer?
Okay, actually that steel version of superman was pretty awesome.
Too bad Shaq had to go fuck it up.
Shaq fucking ruins everything.
Shaq, if you are reading this, you owe me an apology for releasing that shitty genie movie on my birthday. I took friends to that and you let us all down. I lost some friends that day.
Fuck you, Shaq.
Anyway, here is a special Easter edition of Totally Human.